The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones
Release Date: 21st August 2013
I just got home from the theater. Really, it’s been like 3/4 hours since I’ve left the theater feeling disappointment and cursing the writers and producers behind the movie adaptation of City of Bones, the first book in the Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare.
If you follow my Goodreads account or are a friend of mine you know that even though I didn’t love the first book, this series is one of my favourites and when I knew a movie was coming out based on it I just had to call all my friends and bore them about going with me to watch it and wondering what scenes would make it to the screen and how the actors would perform.
It’s with great sadness that I think I WON’T be watching the second movie, if there is one, in the future. City of Bones is a badly planned movie that won’t work out for neither the people who have read the book and for those who had never even heard that the books existed and just wanted to appreciate a new movie. In lesser words, it sucked. Big time.
For those who have read the book(s) I’ll explain what I found most lacking in the movie by the end of the review. That way, people who haven’t had the chance to read the series and want to won’t be spoiled unless they want to find out what they did ABSOLUTELY WRONG.
Basically, what they have done is “introduce” every character in the book right in the first scenes, and I say “introduce” because all we know is their first names and nothing else. There is no background story, nothing. For those who haven’t read the books it probably was just a movie with a bunch of characters that appear out of nowhere and get together to do something. A friend of mine didn’t even know all their names by the end of the movie.
What was a big shock for me and my friends was the whole info dump they just threw at us. I didn’t know info dump was possible in movies. Turns out it is. They just gave you the whole information in one go, the movie had no development but they wanted you to know EVERYTHING so just make a character say everything there is to know in one scene. AND THEY TELL THINGS FROM BOOK 2 AND 3.
Also, the CGI, auch. Just auch. Okay, it wasn’t that bad! The Worst CGI prize goes without a doubt to the movie adaptation of The Host by Stephanie Meyer. That was bad, guys, really bad, it’s, in my opinion, the worst movie I have ever seen. But that doesn’t matter now. The demons were alright and some of the effects even I have to admit were pretty cool. But the portals and the runes AND the runes effects were those you laugh at. There is a particular scene where Jace uses the steel to watch through some books in a shelf and I just couldn’t stop thinking, WTF?
Finally, the soundtrack. Who chose it?? Who was in charge of putting music in this movie? Really…
You’re lucky I’m a pacific person who is only aggressive to her friends. But be warned, it’s going to be a very serious talk. Come on, in a really intense scene (you know what scene I’m talking about, everyone knows! It’s in the freaking trailer when it shouldn’t be! It’s the kiss scene *smooch*) someone thought it would be cool to have an upbeat music. It would work IF and only IF the freaking music didn’t have any lyrics. And let’s not even talk about the choice of music, ugh, I wanted to scream the entire music every time a pop song that had nothing to do with the scenes came up. It was a lot of the film time unfortunately.
Worst of all was how they just spoiled the whole series. GUYS THEY SPOILED THE SERIES AND RUINED THE WHOLE PLOT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FREAKING MOVIE! I will just say it and get over with it. There is a scene where Hodge just says to Valentine to lie to Clary (TO LIE) and tell her and Jace they are brothers. THIS IS THE WHOLE MYSTERY BEHIND THE SERIES! We just find out in BOOK 3 that they ARE NOT actually brothers. So thank you, you just ruined the series for those who have read book 1 (Thank goodness I wasn’t one of those or I would just sue you for spoiling me the whole series if that was possible)
Anyway, NOW for those WHO HAVE READ the book, and will be enraged and will probably want to cry or just throw the popcorn all over the place…. Here are the things they changed, and believe me, they fucking changed a lot. It’s like they just read the book and said “Fuck it, let’s make a movie about another book that doesn’t exist” and that book is just boring and confusing as hell!
- They change the order of some things and I know there must be changes whenever a book turns into a movie, some things just don’t work on screen and I fully recognize that. What I don’t understand is why they decided to put the scene where Simon tries to declare himself to Clary BEFORE they go to Pandemonium and meet Jace. Jace’s input on the book is hilarious on that scene and they completely ruined it taking him out of it. It just didn’t work.
- Clary should kill the demon when it’s in her house right? GIRL POWER!! No… Let’s just make Jace save the day and kill it.
- Idris? What is Idris?? IT DOESN’T FUCKING APPEAR ON THE MOVIE! It isn’t mentioned, like ever! It doesn’t exist, Shadowhunters don’t have their own country. THAT IS IMPORTANT AS HELL because if they DO want to make a second and third movie, they have to introduce Idris somehow.
- Without Idris where are Isabelle and Alec’s parents and cute nerd little brother. Oh yeah, remember when I said they don’t tell anything about the characters that appear on the movie? Well, their parents and Max are never mentioned either! They must not exist! I don’t think the writer read the whole book, he must have just skimmed it. I don’t know, he should just be fired when he presented the script.
- That hilarious scene where Simon turns into a mouse?? Yeah, another cut out. They just made him drink a potion that made him pass out and the vampires just took him. Just like that, no mouse, no jokes about him being a mouse. Oh! And no flying motorcycle either in Jace and Clary’s rescue plan.
- Valentine running away with the cup? What, no! Let’s just make Clary get the freaking cup back!
- Silent Brothers, what are they? What do they do?? They live in the City of Bones. The End.
There were probably many other things that were changed but I don’t really remember. I just know that most of the time I looked at my friend and just made a crying face.
Now, they added some scenes that were actually pretty nice and worked really well, like the part where Clary’s mother is abducted. That was one of the best scenes, just because she was so badass! Ok, it’s the best scene…
And I won’t even talk about Magnus. It’s just not worth it.
Big disappointment and I won’t let myself be fooled like this again.