Book Review: The Lunatic Cafe by Laurell K. Hamilton

30273.jpgThe Lunatic Cafe by Laurel K. Hamilton

Series: Anita Blake; Vampire Hunter (#4)

Published: March 1st 2005 (first published January 1st 1996)

Publisher: Berkley

Goodreads: “In Laurell K. Hamilton’s New York Times bestselling novels, Vampire Hunter and zombie animator Anita Blake is an expert at sniffing out the bad from the good. But she’s about to learn that nothing is ever as it seems-especially in matters of the not-so-human heart…

Dating a werewolf with self-esteem issues is stressing Anita out. Especially when something-or someone-starts taking out the city’s shapeshifters.”

 

Review:

DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU DON’T WANT TO READ ANY SPOILERS

Anita Blake has got a hot date, with Richard, the werewolf she’s been dating for a few months only. As she describes, they’re still not very intimate, since they barely know each other. But as you know, if you’ve read this book, their relationship just goes really fast, way too fast in my opinion.

Jean-Claude is still trying to interfere with their relationship, for some reason. At this point I think this love-triangle, (turned into love-square) is just getting more and more stupid. I really wasn’t able to see the point. But still, you’ll see Anita admitting she loves both JC and Richard, even if in different ways -wtf?- Anita, get your act together, you don’t know either men well enough to say that. As a matter in fact, you sure don’t know Richard to accept his marriage proposal just because you want to jump his bones. Yes people, although Anita feels no remorse when she’s got to kill someone or something, she feels remorse about having pre-marital sex. – Bitch, get your priorities straight!

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As for the crime that takes place this time, or crimes, we got a disappearance, a female shapeshifter
has gone missing for a few days, Anita delivers this case to Ronnie, her bff, because that’s just not what her job is about. There’s also a brutal murder (as usual), a man is found in the snow half-eaten by a bear (or is it?). Marcus, an alpha werewolf, who also happens to want to kill Richard, calls Anita to go to the Lunatic Cafe to have a few words with him. We all know that something else goes on besides those said words.

Although Anita Blake still manages to be one of the most badass female characters I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet, I gotta ask: Why the f*** does she wear corny-ass clothing? Everything about her sense of fashion is simply wrong! And I’m not a fashion guru, I’m more of a tshirt-and-jeans kind of gall. Why doesn’t she just dress herself like the typical UF badass heroine? Leather black pants, leather black jacket, Doc Martens and a sexy top? I got nothing against that. Instead Anita is a fan of fanny packs… That’s just wrong in so many levels.

That’s why folks, the first thing I advise you to do while reading an Anita Blake book is to completely ignore her outfit. Just picture what you would like to see her wearing. I sure as heck do that.

Speaking of clothing, since I’m sounding like Fashion Police, let’s talk about Jean-Claude’s cape, yay or nay? I kinda like it, I think it’s ridiculous, but it just suits him.

Let’s take a look at the people I hated on this book:
-Aikensen
-Titus
-Raina
-Markus – he’s such an idiot, seriously! How can anybody follow his orders? That scene with Alfred was just full-on crazy stupid.
-Kaspar -what even!! A wereswan whose name is Kaspar, can you think of something more hilarious? No? What about Anita’s fanny pack? That gets the prize.

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The people I loved on this book:
-Edward – not surprisingly, I just love Edward way too much. Anita should bet on this guy, even if he is kind of psychopatish… Oh Edward *sighs*
-Gabriel??? I’m not sure, this dude likes pain way too much, but he just seems really hot. – yes, I’m just that superficial. I hope we see more of him in the future.

Then there’s also Anita’s mug collection, now I’d love to see a whole video haul on that, she has really funny mugs she likes to take to the office just to annoy the hell out of Bert, her boss. I find that highly entertaining, just like her stuffed penguin collection. A girl’s got to have muscle on her, but a girl’s also got to have someone to hold on to, even if it’s a stuffed animal, I’m all for that. (I love my stuffed alpaca, which I hold all night long).

As for fav quotes:
I had to smile. I knew more monsters than the monsters did.

“Following you around let’s me kill a lot of people.” Sad but true. – I don’t believe I have said it enough times: I LOVE EDWARD.

Sometime in February a box arrived from Edward. It was a swan skin. The note read, “I found a witch to lift his curse”. – OH EDWARD I SAW WHAT YOU DID THERE, HAHAHA

3.5 Chibis

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Book review: Circus of the Damned by Laurell K. Hamilton

30274.jpgCircus of the Damned by Laurell K. Hamilton

Series: Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter (#3)

Published: 2nd of January 2007/ 1995

Publisher: Berkley

Goodreads: “First time in trade paperback: the third novel in the #1 New York Times bestselling series.

In Circus of the Damned-now in trade paperback for the first time-a rogue master vampire hits town, and Anita gets caught in the middle of an undead turf war. Jean-Claude, the Master Vamp of the city, wants her for his own-but his enemies have other plans. And to make matters worse, Anita takes a hit to the heart when she meets a stunningly handsome junior high science teacher named Richard Zeeman. They’re two humans caught in the crossfire-or so Anita thinks.”

 

Review

Circus of the Damned did not scare me or grossed me out as much as Guilty Pleasures or The Laughing Corpse. I also didn’t like it as much as the last two books of the series.

Jean-Claude is turning Anita’s life into one hell of a big mess; Anita is firstly baited by a vampire Master called Alejandro, who controls a pack of rabid vampires who have chewing up people and leaving them on the cemetery. Alejandro wishes to know who is the Vampire Master controlling the city of St.Louis, and his where he rests daily.
Secondly, there’s a pre-historical vampire master, who is millions of years old, a miniature of a man, with a monkey-like face called Oliver. He also wants to know who the vampire master of the city is.
Anita is aware that she and Jean-Claude are both lusting for each other, but she tries not to get that lust get in the way – I have to say that I admire her resistance, she isn’t even tempted with immortality or super strength, which she can have, if she only allows Jean-Claude to give two more marks to complete the human-slave/vampire master bond.

Reasons why I didn’t like Circus of the Damned as much as the two last books:

– less action-packed;
– a lot of characters getting on my nerves.

I’m still really intrigued by Edward, I was happy to see him again, even if the circumstances weren’t the best, but hey, we’re talking about Edward right? If Edward is around it means that shit is about to get down.
Still, the drama between Anita and Jean-Claude is beginning to be infuriating.

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Jean-Claude is always determined to seduce her, and she is stubborn as usual. I hope that after this book they either end up ripping each others’ clothes off or simply ending their flirting, and they continue their paths separately. I believe I won’t be able to handle this on and off thing anymore.

Larry is a new character who is introduced in this book, furthermore, he was also the one who peeved me the most. He is a new animator, he hasn’t even finish college, and he certainly has never had a brush with death before. Larry’s experience with vampire hunting, raising zombies from their graves is zero, the lad is as innocent as they come, not good for the kind of job he has, and definitely not good in terms of survival. If I were Anita I would’ve slapped him a couple of times, Larry really got on my nerves, as all he was good for was being a distraction. Helpless as a lamb.

Despite not having liked Circus if the Damned as much as the previous books, I still loved it so very much. I’ll have to keep on reading xD

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4 Chibis

Book review: The Laughing Corpse by Laurell K. Hamilton

 

15309.jpgThe Laughing Corpse by Laurell K. Hamilton

Series: Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter (#2)

Published: 2nd of August 2005 / 1994

Publisher: Berkley

Goodreads: “Harold Gaynor offers Anita Blake a million dollars to raise a 300-year-old zombie. Knowing it means a human sacrifice will be necessary, Anita turns him down. But when dead bodies start turning up, she realizes that someone else has raised Harold’s zombie–and that the zombie is a killer. Anita pits her power against the zombie and the voodoo priestess who controls it.

In The Laughing Corpse Anita will learn that there are some secrets better left buried-and some people better off dead…”

Review:

What a rush!!!

I’m officially part of the Anita Blake fan club. I would love to see this on TV (it would be terribly gory, even worse that The Walking Dead, I’d have to skip those parts, I have a weak stomach).

Anita Blake is once again in trouble, this time she has to deal with some kind of meat-eating zombie, she doesn’t really know what it is, and she fears it may be the worst thing she will ever have to catch. This monster ate a family of three members, leaving only blood splattered everywhere and a few half-eaten remains (yum!).
She also gets another job proposal, this time from a very dangerous man called Harold Gaynor, who offers her a million dollars to raise a 300-year-old corpse. However, to raise a dead body this old she must sacrifice a “white goat”, aka a human being. Evidently she refuses to do so, as it breaks all moral codes she has. Gaynor doesn’t take her refusal well. (let’s keep it that way)
The third person who threatens Anita’s life is the voodoo priestess Senora Dominga Salvador, a very dangerous woman who Anita suspects has had a hand in raising the zombie who’s been murdering families. Dominga Salvador wishes to train her, to make Anita reach her true potential. Again, Anita refuses to have anything to do with her, especially after she sees what Dominga has hidden in her basement.
Also, there is still the remaining problem with vampire Master hottie, Jean-Claude who wants Anita to become his human slave.

Trust me guys, there a lot of wtf/mind-blowing moments…

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Again, I really enjoyed myself, LKH is a master at keeping me thoroughly addicted and at the same time completely grossed out. This series is definitely not your cup of tea if you don’t like to read stuff about corpses getting eaten or ripped apart, as these kind of things tend to happen a lot.

All I can say is that I will keep reading, I can’t stop now, I literally can’t stop flipping the pages!

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5 Chibis

Book Review: Guilty Pleasures by Laurell K. Hamilton

30281.jpgGuilty Pleasures by Laurell K. Hamilton

Series: Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter (#1)

Published: 1st January 1993

Publisher: Berkley

Goodreads: “Published over ten years ago by Ace, Guilty Pleasures marked the debut of a series that was destined to grow from cult favorite to a major New York Times bestseller. Now, for long-time Anita Blake junkies and newfound fans, Guilty Pleasures makes its trade paperback debut. Readers will learn how Anita Blake started raising the dead-and killing the undead. And how she met Jean Claude, the master vampire destined to become not only her biggest nemesis, but her greatest lover…”

 

Review

My reaction after reading Guilty Pleasures:

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Thing is… there are 25 books in this series (26th on the works), so how am I going to do this?

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We got a badass in town, her name is Anita Blake, aka the Executioner, she raises the dead for a living and kills vamps whenever she has to (it also gives her tremendous pleasure to do so).

One day Anita gets a visit from Willie, recently turned vampire, who wants to hire her to investigate the vampire murders going on in St.Louis, however, Anita refuses, she doesn’t to put her life in danger, again. Things don’t go her away, when the life of one of her friends gets threatened at Guilty Pleasures, the vampire strip bar she goes to on a bachelorette party. To save her friend from enslavement, Anita investigates the murders, getting herself involved in more trouble than she thought.

Not going to tell you more, the fun thing about this book was not knowing what was going to happen next.

Just be aware that this is your book if you like UF books with crush-worthy characters *coff-Edward-and-Jean-Claude-coff*, badassery in general and let’s not forget that reading this book is the equivalent to getting into a Horror House, it was scary as f***!

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*SPOILERS AHEAD*

Anita is one of my fav characters ever, I read loved how in one moment she is talking about how hiding a gun in a purse means to get killed, and in the other she tells you about her penguin stuffed animal collection, or her natural orange juice secret xD

4.5 Chibis