Book Review: The Lunatic Cafe by Laurell K. Hamilton

30273.jpgThe Lunatic Cafe by Laurel K. Hamilton

Series: Anita Blake; Vampire Hunter (#4)

Published: March 1st 2005 (first published January 1st 1996)

Publisher: Berkley

Goodreads: “In Laurell K. Hamilton’s New York Times bestselling novels, Vampire Hunter and zombie animator Anita Blake is an expert at sniffing out the bad from the good. But she’s about to learn that nothing is ever as it seems-especially in matters of the not-so-human heart…

Dating a werewolf with self-esteem issues is stressing Anita out. Especially when something-or someone-starts taking out the city’s shapeshifters.”

 

Review:

DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU DON’T WANT TO READ ANY SPOILERS

Anita Blake has got a hot date, with Richard, the werewolf she’s been dating for a few months only. As she describes, they’re still not very intimate, since they barely know each other. But as you know, if you’ve read this book, their relationship just goes really fast, way too fast in my opinion.

Jean-Claude is still trying to interfere with their relationship, for some reason. At this point I think this love-triangle, (turned into love-square) is just getting more and more stupid. I really wasn’t able to see the point. But still, you’ll see Anita admitting she loves both JC and Richard, even if in different ways -wtf?- Anita, get your act together, you don’t know either men well enough to say that. As a matter in fact, you sure don’t know Richard to accept his marriage proposal just because you want to jump his bones. Yes people, although Anita feels no remorse when she’s got to kill someone or something, she feels remorse about having pre-marital sex. – Bitch, get your priorities straight!

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As for the crime that takes place this time, or crimes, we got a disappearance, a female shapeshifter
has gone missing for a few days, Anita delivers this case to Ronnie, her bff, because that’s just not what her job is about. There’s also a brutal murder (as usual), a man is found in the snow half-eaten by a bear (or is it?). Marcus, an alpha werewolf, who also happens to want to kill Richard, calls Anita to go to the Lunatic Cafe to have a few words with him. We all know that something else goes on besides those said words.

Although Anita Blake still manages to be one of the most badass female characters I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet, I gotta ask: Why the f*** does she wear corny-ass clothing? Everything about her sense of fashion is simply wrong! And I’m not a fashion guru, I’m more of a tshirt-and-jeans kind of gall. Why doesn’t she just dress herself like the typical UF badass heroine? Leather black pants, leather black jacket, Doc Martens and a sexy top? I got nothing against that. Instead Anita is a fan of fanny packs… That’s just wrong in so many levels.

That’s why folks, the first thing I advise you to do while reading an Anita Blake book is to completely ignore her outfit. Just picture what you would like to see her wearing. I sure as heck do that.

Speaking of clothing, since I’m sounding like Fashion Police, let’s talk about Jean-Claude’s cape, yay or nay? I kinda like it, I think it’s ridiculous, but it just suits him.

Let’s take a look at the people I hated on this book:
-Aikensen
-Titus
-Raina
-Markus – he’s such an idiot, seriously! How can anybody follow his orders? That scene with Alfred was just full-on crazy stupid.
-Kaspar -what even!! A wereswan whose name is Kaspar, can you think of something more hilarious? No? What about Anita’s fanny pack? That gets the prize.

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The people I loved on this book:
-Edward – not surprisingly, I just love Edward way too much. Anita should bet on this guy, even if he is kind of psychopatish… Oh Edward *sighs*
-Gabriel??? I’m not sure, this dude likes pain way too much, but he just seems really hot. – yes, I’m just that superficial. I hope we see more of him in the future.

Then there’s also Anita’s mug collection, now I’d love to see a whole video haul on that, she has really funny mugs she likes to take to the office just to annoy the hell out of Bert, her boss. I find that highly entertaining, just like her stuffed penguin collection. A girl’s got to have muscle on her, but a girl’s also got to have someone to hold on to, even if it’s a stuffed animal, I’m all for that. (I love my stuffed alpaca, which I hold all night long).

As for fav quotes:
I had to smile. I knew more monsters than the monsters did.

“Following you around let’s me kill a lot of people.” Sad but true. – I don’t believe I have said it enough times: I LOVE EDWARD.

Sometime in February a box arrived from Edward. It was a swan skin. The note read, “I found a witch to lift his curse”. – OH EDWARD I SAW WHAT YOU DID THERE, HAHAHA

3.5 Chibis

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Book Review: The Murder Complex by Lindsay Cummings

 

13576132.jpgThe Murder Complex by Lindsay Cummings

Series: The Murder Complex (#1)

Published: 10th of June 2014

Publisher: Greenwillow Books

Goodreads: “An action-packed, blood-soaked, futuristic debut thriller set in a world where the murder rate is higher than the birthrate. For fans of Moira Young’s Dust Lands series, La Femme Nikita, and the movie Hanna.

Meadow Woodson, a fifteen-year-old girl who has been trained by her father to fight, to kill, and to survive in any situation, lives with her family on a houseboat in Florida. The state is controlled by The Murder Complex, an organization that tracks the population with precision.

The plot starts to thicken when Meadow meets Zephyr James, who is—although he doesn’t know it—one of the MC’s programmed assassins. Is their meeting a coincidence? Destiny? Or part of a terrifying strategy? And will Zephyr keep Meadow from discovering the haunting truth about her family?

Action-packed, blood-soaked, and chilling, this is a dark and compelling debut novel by Lindsay Cummings.”

Review:

(WARNING: Angry review/rambling coming up, if you don’t wish to read anything negative related to The Murder Complex don’t read this. You have been warned!)

You’ve got to admit, the cover is fantastic, but good God, this was such a pain to read.

This book has too many faults, the first one being the fact that it was way too fast-paced, I couldn’t even keep up with all that was going on. The world building was delivered on the first few pages, the information about this dystopian world is basically dropped on you, and you have to memorize it right then to be able to understand what will happen further on.

Second thing I couldn’t stand were the characters, I didn’t like a single one of them. At first I thought that I might’ve liked Meadow, but no. Even if at first glance she seemed all cool and badass, she is just a whiny teenager, who believes she’s the shit. And the blind devotion she had towards her psychopath parents, what-the-hell. She grows up to the age of sixteen never pressing her dad to tell her the truth about her mother’s death, even though it was obvious that what she had been told was total bullshit.
The other main character, Zephyr, is a pussy, I’m sorry but there is no better word to describe him. He’s a fucking pussy. The first time Meadow met him he was crying because he felt guilty over killing twelve people. Of course, he never questions why he’s committed not one, not two, not even three, but 12 murders?! He just goes with it.

Third thing I really couldn’t stand on this book was the INSTA LOVE. People, insta love is SO OVER right now. Nobody believes or even swoons over insta love, unless it’s some kind of werewolf mate-bond thing. If I read a book with insta love it at least has to be believable in some way. This “thing” between Meadow and Zephyr obviously wasn’t believable to me.

The only thing that would’ve made this book good was if it ended with the death of every character. That at least would’ve been original.

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2 Chibis

Book review: Circus of the Damned by Laurell K. Hamilton

30274.jpgCircus of the Damned by Laurell K. Hamilton

Series: Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter (#3)

Published: 2nd of January 2007/ 1995

Publisher: Berkley

Goodreads: “First time in trade paperback: the third novel in the #1 New York Times bestselling series.

In Circus of the Damned-now in trade paperback for the first time-a rogue master vampire hits town, and Anita gets caught in the middle of an undead turf war. Jean-Claude, the Master Vamp of the city, wants her for his own-but his enemies have other plans. And to make matters worse, Anita takes a hit to the heart when she meets a stunningly handsome junior high science teacher named Richard Zeeman. They’re two humans caught in the crossfire-or so Anita thinks.”

 

Review

Circus of the Damned did not scare me or grossed me out as much as Guilty Pleasures or The Laughing Corpse. I also didn’t like it as much as the last two books of the series.

Jean-Claude is turning Anita’s life into one hell of a big mess; Anita is firstly baited by a vampire Master called Alejandro, who controls a pack of rabid vampires who have chewing up people and leaving them on the cemetery. Alejandro wishes to know who is the Vampire Master controlling the city of St.Louis, and his where he rests daily.
Secondly, there’s a pre-historical vampire master, who is millions of years old, a miniature of a man, with a monkey-like face called Oliver. He also wants to know who the vampire master of the city is.
Anita is aware that she and Jean-Claude are both lusting for each other, but she tries not to get that lust get in the way – I have to say that I admire her resistance, she isn’t even tempted with immortality or super strength, which she can have, if she only allows Jean-Claude to give two more marks to complete the human-slave/vampire master bond.

Reasons why I didn’t like Circus of the Damned as much as the two last books:

– less action-packed;
– a lot of characters getting on my nerves.

I’m still really intrigued by Edward, I was happy to see him again, even if the circumstances weren’t the best, but hey, we’re talking about Edward right? If Edward is around it means that shit is about to get down.
Still, the drama between Anita and Jean-Claude is beginning to be infuriating.

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Jean-Claude is always determined to seduce her, and she is stubborn as usual. I hope that after this book they either end up ripping each others’ clothes off or simply ending their flirting, and they continue their paths separately. I believe I won’t be able to handle this on and off thing anymore.

Larry is a new character who is introduced in this book, furthermore, he was also the one who peeved me the most. He is a new animator, he hasn’t even finish college, and he certainly has never had a brush with death before. Larry’s experience with vampire hunting, raising zombies from their graves is zero, the lad is as innocent as they come, not good for the kind of job he has, and definitely not good in terms of survival. If I were Anita I would’ve slapped him a couple of times, Larry really got on my nerves, as all he was good for was being a distraction. Helpless as a lamb.

Despite not having liked Circus if the Damned as much as the previous books, I still loved it so very much. I’ll have to keep on reading xD

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4 Chibis

Book Review: Guilty Pleasures by Laurell K. Hamilton

30281.jpgGuilty Pleasures by Laurell K. Hamilton

Series: Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter (#1)

Published: 1st January 1993

Publisher: Berkley

Goodreads: “Published over ten years ago by Ace, Guilty Pleasures marked the debut of a series that was destined to grow from cult favorite to a major New York Times bestseller. Now, for long-time Anita Blake junkies and newfound fans, Guilty Pleasures makes its trade paperback debut. Readers will learn how Anita Blake started raising the dead-and killing the undead. And how she met Jean Claude, the master vampire destined to become not only her biggest nemesis, but her greatest lover…”

 

Review

My reaction after reading Guilty Pleasures:

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Thing is… there are 25 books in this series (26th on the works), so how am I going to do this?

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We got a badass in town, her name is Anita Blake, aka the Executioner, she raises the dead for a living and kills vamps whenever she has to (it also gives her tremendous pleasure to do so).

One day Anita gets a visit from Willie, recently turned vampire, who wants to hire her to investigate the vampire murders going on in St.Louis, however, Anita refuses, she doesn’t to put her life in danger, again. Things don’t go her away, when the life of one of her friends gets threatened at Guilty Pleasures, the vampire strip bar she goes to on a bachelorette party. To save her friend from enslavement, Anita investigates the murders, getting herself involved in more trouble than she thought.

Not going to tell you more, the fun thing about this book was not knowing what was going to happen next.

Just be aware that this is your book if you like UF books with crush-worthy characters *coff-Edward-and-Jean-Claude-coff*, badassery in general and let’s not forget that reading this book is the equivalent to getting into a Horror House, it was scary as f***!

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*SPOILERS AHEAD*

Anita is one of my fav characters ever, I read loved how in one moment she is talking about how hiding a gun in a purse means to get killed, and in the other she tells you about her penguin stuffed animal collection, or her natural orange juice secret xD

4.5 Chibis

Book Review: Dead of Winter by Kresley Cole

 

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Dead of Winter by Kresley Cole

Series: The Arcana Chronicles (#3)

Published: January 6th 2015

Publisher: Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers

Playlist: Three Day Grace and Skillet

Goodreads:Can Evie convince her rival loves to work together? Their survival depends on it in this third book of #1 New York Times bestselling author Kresley Cole’s Arcana Chronicles, a nonstop action tale of rescue, redemption, and a revenge most wicked.

Heartbreaking decisions
Evie was almost seduced by the life of comfort that Death offered her—until Jack was threatened by two of the most horrific Arcana, the Lovers. She will do anything to save him, even escape Death’s uncanny prison, full of beautiful objects, material comforts…and stolen glances from a former love.

Uncertain victory
Despite leaving a part of her heart behind with Death, Evie sets out into a perilous post-apocalyptic wasteland to meet up with her allies and launch an attack on the Lovers. Such formidable enemies require a battle plan, and the only way to kill them may mean Evie, Jack, and Death allying. Evie doesn’t know what will prove more impossible: surviving slavers, plague, Bagmen and other Arcana—or convincing Jack and Death to work together.

Two heroes returned
There’s a thin line between love and hate, and Evie just doesn’t know where she stands with either Jack or Death. Will this unlikely trio be able to defeat The Lovers without killing one another first…?”

Review:

I’m going to go straight to the point:

This book was AWESOME, EPIC and MIND-BLOWING.

If I hadn’t read City of Heavenly Fire by Cassandra Clare this year I would say that Dead of Winter was the best book so far… And we’re still in January!

I had this book on my bedside table for 2 weeks until I told myself that I had to read it, so I had the brilliant idea of reading the whole series straight. I did it, of course, and I broke my personal reading record, four books in a day *applause*

Yes guys, I’m just that good! I first read Kyland by Mia Sheridan, then Poison Princess, Endless Knight and at last Dead of Winter. I started at midnight and stopped at 8 am, in the middle of Dead of Winter, slept a little bit and continued at 1 pm to finish this masterpiece of a book at 3 pm.

I thank the holly God of Bookworms for making this day happen.

Dead of Winter continues from the part where Death coerces Evie into sleeping with him, in exchange he would save Jack, our hot Cajun boy who was kidnapped by the homicidal Violet and Vincent, aka The Lovers, Duke and Duchess Most Perverse. But our dear Evie decides to poison Aric (Death), and he falls asleep. She then runs away to save Jack, despite being mad at him.

I have to admit that I don’t really intend to fully review this book, as such I won’t go further with it.

One thing I will tell you, this book is so outright amazing, I really don’t have enough words to describe it, I just want the fourth book so much! I had told Ana that I wanted this series to end at Dead of Winter, but after I finished reading it… Dear Miss Kresley Cole, please go ahead and write your heart out *I’ll be dying over here, waiting*

So if you thought Endless Knight ended with a cliff-hanger, trust me, Dead of Winter will make you scream in frustration and want to build a time-traveling machine to go to the future and read the next book. Unfortunately wanting and doing are not the same, so I guess I’ll have to wait another year *cries*.

Thank you for reading, please comment, like or share 🙂

To read my review of Poison Princess click here  ; to read Ana’s review of Endless Knight click here

5 Chibis